kejam kah aku?

i've been seething, literally boiling n steaming over this one particular fella over these past few months.. the fact that he betrayed our trust was one thing, but to give sorry excuses over what he did is so dem pathetic...

at first i hold back my tongue, thinking that he's an old friend of someone very dear to me, but when it dragged on n on n on n he was not anywhere near keeping his promise, i lashed out like i never hated anyone before... he gave one excuse after another, until i stop believing completely no matter how damaging it was (supposedly) to him..

the latest i heard was he was sick due to somebody else's doing (read-kena buat org lah ckp org melayu nye), the latest, after being robbed and beaten twice, car stolen, the mild 'busy' excuse, wrong bank transfer, yada yada yada..

when i heard it the latest news, i dont know how to say this without sounding callous n heartless n cruel n whatever it is ppl call these days, but i couldn't find anywhere in me to feel sorry for him..

kejam sgt kah aku for not feeling sorry? after all his excuses, his promises that things will settle in a day, that turned to weeks, n finally turned to months, with us badgering him instead of him contacting us (who's supposed to contact who???!!) n everytime we finally able to get hold of him, he came out with ANOTHER excuse..

actually, i was, sad, thinking that something must be really wrong WITH ME for not feeling any pity towards him.. my first thought was, well, serve u right, a*****e..

jahat kan aku nih... jahatnye... jahatnye...