Thursday, December 29, 2011

Alaaa terlupa lagi dua..

..movies this year yg i missed in the cinema hahahaha

Green Lantern - actually not bad, not bad at all. Walaupun concept dia agak kelakar kena pakai cincin n charge kat lampu gawd it sounds soooo ridiculous in malay hahahahaha .. Most probably sebab Ryan Reynolds hihihi hotttnesssss pppsssshhhh

Thor - Another superhero movie.. Ok jugak la walaupun concept dia pun kelakar power di tukul kahkahkah the Thor is not as hot as Ryan Reynolds tapi perut perrgghhh if you enjoy superhero movies like superman batman ironman i think Thor is quite enjoyable as well..

These two movies, walaupun telah diketahui kekelakaran dan tak masuk akal punya concept  tapi yang tuuu jugak ditengok kalau agak2 bosan (selain cartoon movies for umar n how i met your mother for moi) ;)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

movies i missed (n would have to miss out)

Semenjak ada cikonet, tak pernah lagi p tengok wayang. We actually stopped earlier before, during my pregnancy lagi. I dunno why, but i guess being a fussybutt i couldn't tahan duduk kat shopping complex lama-lama. Kaki tak larat wei. Everything swelled early into the 5th month so mmg by the end of it I ended up waddling like a penguin.

This year ada banyyaaaakkk movies yang i missed out in the cinema. Hubster made up for it with HD movie downloads so tak la rugi sgt. All that was missing is the popcorn. hrmmm... should have bought that microwave so i can make my own kan..

X-Men First Class - hmm oookkk laa.. tak la seronok sgt for me. not exciting enough to warrant subsequent watch (i'm known to watch movies again and again and again and again

Transformers Dark of the Moon - pun so-so.. takde rasa teringin nak tengok berkali-kali.. sebab takde megan fox? perhaps, walaupun dia cuma bimbo yang tak la pandai sangat berlakon.

Fast Five - punnnn tak menarik sangat.. eh aku tak suka banyak jugak movie tahun ni rupanya hahahaha.. i've watched number 4 much much much more times than number 5. eh number 5 tgk sekali je kut.

Kungfu Panda 2 - haaaa ni seronok :D and it's also Umar's favourite, apart from princess and the frog heheehe maybe he can correlate dgn baby po? perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ;P sebab baby po comel, macam umar hahahaha

Rio- This is my favourite for this year. B.E.S.T. best best best! love the movie, love the songs - Jamie Foxx punya suara mmg best, Party in Ipanema baby! n LOVE the collaboration with angry bird! at least lawa la, dari tgk babi-babi tergolek-golek kan..

Hangover Part 2 - I've said it before, I'll say it again. GROSS, GROSS, GROSS. tapi kelakar. tapi GROSS. Bradley Cooper hottttttt!!

Cars 2 - my son didn't seem to like it, and so did I. i guess we have similar taste ;)

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 on Stranger Tides - I don't know why but the movie seemed a little off. Not because there's no love story, no Orlando Bloom. no no no! Johnny Depp tetap chenta hatiku. tapiiiiiii MAKE UP yang off.. OFF GILA.. haih.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - hmmm... i'm on the fence on this one. nak kata best sgt pun tak, tak best pun tak. some parts adalah sedikit kecewa, tapi some parts adalah sedikit teruja. see?

There's two more movies that i haven't watched - Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 and The Smurfs. Kena carik yang at least 720p baru cantikkkkkkk

And the latest that i would, again, miss, is SHERLOCK HOLMES A Game of Shadows. HWAAAAAA

Friday, December 23, 2011


to make it clear whose territory is whose, i've made a special place for Umar's development, favourites, milestones etc. so skrg tempat ni boleh dibuat tempat merempan tak tentu arah mcm biasa ;)

umar's new place:


Friday, November 25, 2011

A Review on Rumparooz

i received these lovelies from my beloved sspians who threw babyshower for me and aishah cum ifi's housewarming (another excuse for makan fest and gossip session!). there is another one in sunshine - bright bright orange (couldn't take the picture as it was in laundry). it was love at first sight.

the colours are the most vibrant i've ever seen! u won't see any boring pastel colours from rumparooz. love love love :)

the rumparooz i have here is the new G2 pocket diaper. each diaper comes together with a set of inserts - a small 2 layer microfibre newborn insert which can later be used as boosters, and a 3 layer microfibre inserts which has adjustable snaps.

here's a look on the inside of the diaper. it's made from soft soft stay dry microchamois. the winning feature for this diaper must be the poopscoop, the inner gusset that keeps EVERYTHING in.

umar could fit in this diaper since about 2weeks, using the provided newborn insert as the soaker. trim dan cantik. n true to its claim, the poopscoop never let anything out. another thing that i love is the laundry tab for velcro closure. its made of cloth (barely noticeable in the picture) so it's very soft and won't graze my baby's skin.

the sad thing is, now at 5 months umar is already set on L setting. why? while the crotch is narrow, providing good fit so the baby won't look terkangkang much even as newborn, the thigh casing is trim too, which is bad news for my chikenet's drumsticks.

hot and sexy umar in rumparooz only :D

overall view: thumbs up for trimness and vibrant colours. i wish i could say the same about the fit on my chunkybaby, but sadly, no :(

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Out of the blue, a make up review..

dah lama tak review makeup kan? i recently found a long-lost love, hence this post :D

presenting, Eyeko Fat Balm!!!!

i bought this just b4 i found out i was pregnant (which has since led to a looooooooong pause on any cosmetics purchase, until recently ;)) n loved it to bits! its actually a lip balm, n a fat one at that (hence the name) but it's also tagged to be used as cream blush. n i AM a sucker for multipurpose cosmetics, so i must of course have it. i have one in strawberry, will post real pic when i have the chance.

the thing i love most is while its moisturising as a balm, and the tint is suitable for my complexion, it being a cream blush is not sticky much. just pat pat pat on the cheeks, blend blend blend blend, then pat pat pat on the lips, smack once, twice, then ur already done! it's effortless to do my face nowadays, which is crucial since other times are spent playing with umar ;)

the not so good news part is that when i head to its website,, i realized it's no longer there! upon further investigation i noticed that the brand has rebranded itself and has since focused on the eyes only, which i think is a little nonsensible. i mean, have u ever heard of a cosmetic brand that focused on only one area of the face? don't give me empro please hahhaha i know there are brands like that!

more googling, n i found out that some online shops still carry this gem, but yeah, they don't ship to malaysia. kalau rajin ada je personal shoppers at yg take orders to buy for you, which is how i get my eyeko in the first place :)

Saturday, November 19, 2011


Another AI2 system that umar currently use is Flip. It's a basic one-size waterproof PUL diaper cover with lay-on insert. There is an option of snap or velcro closure, and staydry or organic cotton insert. The staydry insert is comprised of 3 layers of microfibre topped with stay-dry suede. the Flip system caters for babies from 7-35lbs.

I first bought a day pack of Flip which consisted of 2 diaper covers (moonbeam and butternut, both in snap closure) with 6 stay dry inserts. i've since bought more staydry inserts, and another cover in clementine (above) with velcro closure.

Umar started to fit into Flip as he was about 4 weeks old, roughly 3.5kg. And since then, up til now, Flip has become a staple for him. i even use them on umar for night diapering, added with microfibre or hemp booster.

As with Thirsties diaper covers, Flip covers are also made of breathable PUL, which enables it to be wiped clean if there's no stains and airdried before alternate use. The cutting of Flip is generous, which is thumbs-up for chunky monkeys. It has flaps on both sides to put in the insert's ends so it stays put. Umar was at the smallest setting and just upgraded to M setting at 7kg. no red marks on umar's thighs at all on this system, yeay!

inner view of Flip cover

the look inside Flip with the insert laid on

the only minor thing that i (ehem!) disliked about Flip cover is the laundry tab for the velcro closure. since its laundry tab is velcro strip sewn onto the back of the cover, it touches umar's back, and mama doesn't like the feel of it. so my solution to it was to lay the insert onto the laundry tab instead of underneath the flap, so its contact to umar's skin is minimised :)

i love, LOVE Flip staydry inserts as it is very thirsty, hold umar's pee about three hours without leaks, and easy to clean. The staydry insert is also convenient to use as it has marks sewn onto it to show small, medium and large setting. I can just fold the insert according to the marks and it fits well into the cover. nowadays i use the inserts not just into Flip covers, but also into other diaper covers as well.

overall view: 4 thumbs up! more than a third of umar's stash is made of Flip, which goes to show how much i love them :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

recipe gone ermmmm... not quite right..

last night was my first try to make carbonara pasta. sangat senang sebenarnya, but i still manage to get it wrong. kena repair2 baru ok sikit rasa dia.

sorry no pictures, sebab rupa sangat kesian putiiiiihhhh je.

pasta carbonara

pasta of your choice (takde spaghetti masa nak beli maka bantai beli vermicelli pasta)

carbonara sauce:

1 cup cream (substituted with evaporated milk)
2 whole eggs
1 cup grated parmesan cheese (takde kat rumah so i used 4 slices cheddar cheese)
1/2 cup hot water
pinch of salt

this recipe calls for crispy fried bacon, but i just used leftover cold cuts of roast beef and chicken pastrami. u can also use turkey ham and slices of button mushroom.

to do:

1.boil pasta according to package instruction.

2.cut the cold cuts into bite-sized pieces. fry as u like, i just fry plain je.

3.combine all carbonara sauce ingredient. if u like it thick u can omit the hot water and salt, the cheese is already salty enough. mix with fork/beater, and simmer on slow fire. season with pepper and mixed herb (kalau ada chilli flakes lagi sedappp).

4. add in fried cuts and sliced mushrooms into sauce.

5. mix pasta into sauce, garnish, and you're done!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Thirsties: A Review

Really. i really can't emphasize enough how much i depend on these covers during confinement. In fact, the Thirsties covers were used on umar since he was born until yesterday (umar hit 7kgs. size 1 Thirsties covers 6-18lbs which means it should fit umar till about 8kgs, but his thunder thighs said differently :( )

first off, a little about the brand.

Thirsties is a USA made diaper brand, the most famous products being their range of diaper covers. There is also fitted diapers, sleeve diapers (kinda like pocket but with both ends open so the insert agitate itself out during washing) and more.

The Thirsties came either in aplix or snap closure, in sizes (XS, S, M and L) or 2-size system:

Size 1 which fits 6-18lbs (3-8kg), and
Size 2 which fits 18-40lbs (8-18kg)

Here are the ones that i used on Umar:

from left: aplix cover in Blackbird, snap cover in orchid, snap cover in storm cloud, and duo insert, all in size 1.

All three covers are the Duowrap Size 1 (i couldn't find the XS cover). the covers are made of breatheable waterproof polyurethane laminate (PUL) and wipeable, so if there's no poo stain, u can just wipe it clean and airdry for alternate use. These fit Umar since he's born (2.5kg) till 7kg at 5 months.

The DuoInsert is made of two parts: 2 layer microfibre topped with stay-dry microfleece, and a bottom part made of 5 layer jersey-hemp. these two parts are connected with snaps, so u can unstick them and they dry faster after washing.

here is how it looks like in the duowrap.

my take after using the system for 4 months?

on the duowrap:

easy to use, the wipeable feature made it a breeze. u can just lay on any type of soaker (but NOT microfibre insert!) on it, snap your baby in, and voila, all done. until umar outgrew his duowrap, i love to pair it with FLIP staydry insert (review coming up later). in terms of using aplix or snap closure though, i must say that it's a personal preference. and i prefer the snap ones, since the aplix easily folded under umar's belly and cause leaks.

on the insert:

although hemp is reputed to hold a LOT of liquid, sadly it didn't work out much for umar, even when he's about a month old. these days i separate the two parts and they are excellent as boosters for umar's night time diapering.

overall view: thumbs UP!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Clothdiapering A Newborn

When i first got pregnant, mak advocated on using the traditional lampin masa berpantang, and at least masa cuti bersalin to cut the cost of using disposable diapers. i was a little apprehensive, knowing how pemalas i am and kesian mak nak jaga kitorg masa pantang tu. but i was little curious when i came upon the term cloth diaper at babycenter community forum.

more and more i read, regarding the whole myriad of CD systems available. it was overwhelming, at first, especially the jargons used. AIO, AI2, pocket. what's the difference between insert AND soaker???? what's the difference of fabrics used to make these cute stuff? THERE'S ACTUALLY FABRIC MADE OF BAMBOO???

to name a few.

on and on i read, and did a lot of research to avoid disappointment (and waste of money). at first, the thought of using one size cloth diaper was very tempting. but the more i read, the more i came upon mothers who failed to use the one-sized ones since newborn, mainly because after all, newborns are very small, and the cutting of onesize CD just don't cut it.

at 26weeks i finally decided that i would use lampin and small sized diaper cover during confinement, and when my baby finally fit, the one-size CD would be economical.

during confinement, i used lampin, folded macam kapalterbang tu (the proper term is origami fold), lapik dengan liner, with thirsties cover XS or duowrap size 1. tak payah pakai pin/snappi pun (buat rugi beli je), sbb lampin tu tak bergerak pun dlm cover. umar was snug and happy in them. memang kena banyak kali tukar, sebab umar is a poopertrooper, and lampin cepat basah so baby kurang selesa. on the other hand, we experienced zero diaper rash episode. yeay!

malam still pakai huggies though, sebab tak confident dapat bagi umar pakai lampin dgn selesa malam2.

i also used thirsties duo insert, but since Bonnie (of ada 2 keping je size 1, tu je la rezeki umar. but more on that later :D

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

First post on Umar's CDing journey

I did say I wanted to post on umar’s adventure in cloth diapering kan.. eheh, my bad.

Umar start pakai lampin biasa+diaper cover around his 4th day, I think. Nak bagi pakai CD yang one-size still too big untuk umar, dah dia kecik comel je 2.5kg, and one-sized ones usually tagged for 8-35lb (±3-15kg). I bought a few diaper covers that are suitable for 6-18lbs, so the fit lebih cantik.

After much MUCH reading and researching and browsing through online sellers to find the best deal (for I am an avid bargain-hunter), here are the list of diapers that I’ve already bought before delivering umar:

1 Thirsties cover in size XS

3 Thirsties Duowrap cover in size 1

3 dozen flats/ lampin

2 Thirsties duo Insert in Size 1

A day pack of Flip (2 one-size (OS) Flip covers with 6 stay-dry inserts)

the links i provided is where i bought the respective items.

N during babyshower that my dearest friend Ya threw for me and Aishah, I’ve got:

3 Rumparooz G2 OS pocket diapers

1 Freshbots fitted diaper in size S

There are a few websites that I always refer to when in doubt or have a lingering question in my head:

from then on, i slowly bought more and after 4months, this is how umar's stash looks like:

not much, but enough to fully CD umar. i've since kept away the flats for my coming niece/nephew :D

i'll keep different posts on CDing a newborn, and reviews of each brand okies. later!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Date Night

last night was a date night. umar dah balik bermanja dgn maktok awal2 lg kat kedah last weekend. i'll be heading back to kedah for raya haji so then only i'll be picking him up. but for now, it's back to being 2.

watched hangover 2 last night. super hilarius, but also superrrrrrr gross. i mean it. G.R.O.S.S. a little review, this time round it's stu's bachelor party gone AWWWFUULLYYY wrong. think thailand, thugs, transgender (gawd it looked like a lab experiment gone wrong!). enuf said.

but the highlight for me is this:


a dad as hot as bradley cooper? check!
FUSCHIA diaper bag???? check!

it's a Ju Ju BeAll in fuschia blossom! upon more research i.e. googling while watching tv there's actually another 2 version of this print:



but he chose to wear bright bright pink! u just made my day :D

all pic googled

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Current Routine

Today is Day 30. Yeay Umar dah sebulan!

Unfortunately, it also means 30days of no TV. haih. nak buat cne, TV kat tingkat atas, dlm bilik takde TV. not that mak doesn't allow me to go up the stairs but i didn't trust myself holding umar going up the slippery stairs. Yet. Who knows? maybe tomorrow i will.

u guys know how vain i am right? right? righttt... well now everything goes out the window. n sleeping with the aircon blowing direct ke muka doesn't exactly help. At all. Even my sister, when she wrongly bought a cleanser for oil control for me and i said well this won't help at all now i'm quite dry, went 'ooh yaaa... i can see the dry patches...'


My current beauty routine:

hair tied in high bun to stretch whatever feature that is sagging, nothing done on unconcealable panda eyes.

Clinique Mild Cleanser on face.

Lucas Papaw ointment on dry lips (n dry, cracked nips).


2x sedih.

I need face (and body!!) overhaul, STAT.

A pic to soothe a panicky fat mom:

aaahhhh... heaven...

Sunday, July 10, 2011

if you have the time, do this:

A reminder for myself, for the next round :)

Things to do before getting admitted for delivery:

1. pack baby and mommy's stuff, yes, but don't forget daddy's stuff too. at least a change of clothes, kain pelikat, kopiah, and extra pillow and blanket for him and family members who will be waiting for you. like you, he'll have sleepless nights too in the ward, but minus a bed.

2. wash yourself, especially your hair, thoroughly, you won't know when you'll be wheeled into the labour room, and when you get to wash it again. and please, don't forget to trim your nails (like i did before delivering umar).

3. have the phone and camera ready, unless u have a doting father-in-law (like mine, loves!) who took videos and lots of pictures from the time you're wheeled out of the labour room, pictures of the star of the day in the nursery, till you're both checked out and getting in the car to go home.

4. please have something at hand to while the time away, especially if u don't have tv in the room. i had to wait a day and a half before my bundle came out after being induced. thank goodness for ebooks and smartphones!

5. have hubby to get some food supply, fruits and drink packs at least, for family members who's waiting for you. they'll fend for themselves, yes, but it'll make u feel much better.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day 15

Today marks 15 days of life of our little darling. kejap je dah 2 minggu... n it has been such a roller coaster ride of adapting to new routines. diaper changing, poo-sniffing, feeding is especially a challenge since the boss is VERY keen on sleeping. but Alhamdulillah umar is not a screamer, cuma sekali-sekala bila mama lambat sangat bagi attention, n bila mandi terlentang. otherwise he is such a good boy, and he always smiles, which made all the night waking hours worth it.

He did have to come out early due to some circumstance, and the labour room had a little drama having him to get out, but Alhamdulillah we managed to get through normal delivery safely. the moment he opened up his eyes and smiled at me (before he managed to let out a loud cry), i know we're gonna be alright.

currently we're stationed at mak's, with doting aunties and uncles. cucu sulung, nak buat cne. jadi la bahan. tengah 'buat kuih' pun ada video.. kesian umar, cam reality tv show dah. takpe, at least we'll have things to remind us of little him when he's all grown up, and also all those potential embarassing shots to show his wifey haha

Saturday, July 2, 2011


19 JUNE 2011, 2.36PM

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Am I really prepared for this?

( i know: anis, TOO LATE.)

the most lingering question for a new momma, will i be a good mother? i've tried reading a LOT, but i know no theory can prepare me completely until i experience it myself. harap2 dapat jadi mama yg baik, aminnn.. or as hariz said, nnti kalau mama menyinga jadi raksasa gorgon, baby boleh jadi otromen... :D

will i be able to finish preparing for the material stuff before delivering? i do have a lot to pack, see. This is not even about hospital bags. ARGGHHH!

Baby stuff, easy, i'll just lug EVERYTHING into bag #1-beg bb balik pantang di SgPetani + raya di K.Trganu. Senang, sebab semua barang baru kan. Its the parents' stuff that's worrisome.

Thing is, if everything is according to my EDD, there'll be only a few days left to puasa after pantang and then raya. N we'll be heading east straight from north, so i'm not in the liberty to get back to our place before heading east, hence the freaking out having to pack for raya in REJAB.

Baju raya? hariz punya tak beli lagi? sendiri punya?(sendiri punya tu MUAT KE???)
Baju2 spare utk kenduri2 & open house?? yg sedia ada tak tentu muat!!
Songkok, tudung, butang baju melayu, sampin jgn lupa!
anak2 sutun, baju pegi dapur, baju jalan2 tepi pantai, baju tido????

all this, on top of risau sakit bersalin, risau baby hari2 kira movement, risau baby lahir normal/tak, risau mama's hospital bag tak siap lagi(???!!!), risau all the stiff joints i felt if i dont move during my sleep (hidung merah+kembang, kaki bengkak, dan jari macam sosej tu takyah cerita la).. haih..

Friday, May 20, 2011

Ground Beef Shepherd Pie

i really need to jot this somewhere, n pity i didnt take any pic on the dish before being eaten. it always feels good to cook it right the first time, n nobody gets stomachache from it!

what i initially googled was some recipes on mashed potato gravy, but ended up with a simple baked mashed potato with ground beef. bila google lagi dan lagi, baru la dapat nama yang betul:


ada la rupa skt mcm gambar sebenar, tapi bukan. googled.

you'll need:

mashed potatoes

7 medium size russet potatoes (roughly almost 1kg) - skinned and quartered
4 cloves garlic
1 cup cream
1 heaping tbsp butter (missed this one!)
sprinkle of mixed italian herbs
salt, as needed

ground beef base

500g beef, minced
1 onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
coarse ground black pepper and salt to taste

some grated cheese and breadcrumbs for topping.

to do:

1. preheat oven at 150C. Boil the potatoes together with garlic (or can roast the garlic with some oil instead) and mash together with cream, butter, salt and herb. set aside.

2. Saute chopped onion and garlic until fragrant, then mix in ground beef. Simmer on low fire til they turn brownish. Season with salt and black pepper. Transfer beef into casserole, spread around the base.

3. Top with mashed potatoes, and sprinkle breadcrumbs and grated cheese.

4. Bake for about 30 minutes or until the cheese tips turned brown.

Siap! Baked this for the potluck cum housewarming cum baby shower, and since ada byk budak2, this dish ialah yg paling senang makan, mashers for tots, beef for mums and dads too :D

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


hoho this is the looooongggggeeeesssst stretch of absence from this page for me heh. lama gila tak tulis, rasa sgt rusty. no excuses , i know, but yeah, like some ppl like to say that annoys the heck out of me , whatever...

n whaddaya know, i've arrived at the last laps y'all! just 8 wks left til we can finally get to see our lil' one. ok ok, so we do get to peep at whatever the baby's doing every month n sometimes in the middle of the night i'm awakened by the baby's movement, smiling in the dark and secretly wishing i can keep feeling it in my tums, but everyone is very hyped up n anxious for the grand arrival. n me, being super-paranoid, am obsessing on every false/true labour signs i came across in articles / pregnancy tracker apps. not to mention the almost daily Braxton Hicks. dr kata anak panjang, maka agak kurang space agaknya, tu yg asyik mengeliat selalu, perut pun asyik kerassss je. the last time we saw the bean he's had his tali pusat near his face, his hands near his face, AND one leg up his face. kesian anak mama. sempit ye sayang? tak lama lagi dah nak kuar pusing la sesuka hati ye.

i just had the baby stuff for hospital bag packed up. baby bag is one cutesy bakul rotan courtesy from my MIL, yeay! comel gila, but i'm thinking of a way to line the basket so kain baju semua tak tersangkut. now just lapik dgn tudung yg tak penah (n tak boleh sbb susah gilaaaa nk bentuk)pakai. mama bag tak siap lagi, kemudian la ye.

checklist for baby bag:

baju: 3 pairs button tshirts n pants, 2 rompers

booties and mitts 1 pair, 3 pairs NB socks

3 receiving blankets, 1 pc muslin swaddle

4pc lampin

1 towel

4 barut baby

1 pk baby wipes

huggies NB diapers 1pk 12 pc

baby sebamed liquid wash

baby cotton buds

yet to be filled with:

baby massage oil, minyak telon, bedak, nail clippers, plastic and reusable bags utk uri dgn baju kotor.

being me, who likes to reaaadd anything and everything, am planning to jump on the CD(clothdiaper) bandwagon, which is a hot topic online nowadays. this, with full support from my mak who's gonna take care of me n baby masa pantang nanti. but still i'll be using dispos during the first few days on my mom's advice, at least until the baby poo is no more tarry like, or meconium as they call it. mainly because the tarry meconium mak kata susah skt nk tanggal unless pakai liner, n we had the huggies dispos for free anyway so we might as well use it first.

will be posting on inputs regarding clothdiapering later, toodles!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

a heartwrenching news.

a death news took me by surprise today. the more harrowing part was she died due to the negligence of her baby sitter.

Deanna was only four months old.

seems like only a few days before i met the little girl, a little nervous to hold her - the old adage said that if ur holding a baby n he/she doesn't cry, it means the opposite gender is in your belly. not that i totally believed that since i hold both a niece and a nephew and they didnt cry, but that's another story.

she happily chatted away in her own language, talking to my yet-to-be-seen belly. a sure signal that she's sleepy, her mummy said. how adorable it is for an infant to babble to say she's sleepy, no? Deanna.

it really hurt to think about it as i am in emotional limbo these days, but its my dear cousin's only child. n my heart aches for her loss.

sleep well sweetheart. my love goes to u. Al-Fatihah.