the first time i saw this book, i think like, more than 2 yrs back oredi. but back then, i was still a student. n me being a student equals no money, as i solely depended on my PAMA to support my studies. so a non-pharmacy book worth about rm60 was out of question lah.

then when i started working i tried to find it again, tp never found it. sedih. pastu lupa.

until i found it again. yesterday. of all days, i found it during payday! happinesss!!

what few pages i've read i can already tell its gonna be enjoyable. from putting ur feet into the high heels and walking on them to changing diapers to operating computers, 'the girl's guide to everything' is quite apt!

yoga oh yoga

aduh hai... apsal la org dok gaduh2 pasal yoga nih... nmpk sgt ketidaksepaduan antara org2 yg kena tentukan mende nih. yg nk implement terus lah, nk against terus lah. yg x p tanya sultan dulu lah. mcm2.

bagi aku la kan, pttnya org yg nk menentang mende tuh, kalo org nya islam, jgn la bagi statement yg negatif2 nih. perkataan2 mcm 'very disappointed' tu sgt la x sesuai. maybe not intentionally, tp it sounds as if ur against org yg lebih arif tentang hukum hakam nih. nk kritik, bagi la pandangan membina sikit. ni nk kondem je, apa nk jadi? mcm mufti perlis, he suggested that majlis fatwa bagi alternative skali kalo nk ban yoga totally. ha, bagus la jugak cmtu, at least ada cadangan. ni yg persatuan2 kata xpatut langsung la, hape la, mcm la xde yoga tu xleh buat mende lain. ko nk tonggang tonggek, pilates pun ada. ha, tukar je la.

aku suka buat yoga, sebenarnya. walaupun xpenah lepas tahap beginner. walaupun hanya untuk regangan semata. tp dah lama tinggal. dah berbulan2 dah pun. kalo dia kata 'BAN!' aku blh start anew dgn pilates tanpa rasa bersalah.

tunggu verdict je. kalo ban nya secara total, maka koleksi cd yoga aku akan di let go lah nmpak gayanya. :)

daaa!!

here i come!!!!

O.M.G.

twilight open this thursday eh? ayohhh.. i x perasan lah.. mesti la mau tgk kan, sudah brapa lama tunggu. ajak hariz p alamanda lah, ada x ah agak2? gsc nye baru la lagi.

bkn apa. last weekend my FIL's in town, pastu we went to putrajaya lah nk tgk si kecik dua org tuh. pstu p la mkn kat alam anda. pastu kan, alamanda nih tgh promotion plk, kalo p mkn kat some restaurants above rm50 in one receipt, the first 50 customers can redeem vouchers for two free movie tickets. kebetulan pulak xramai pun yg redeem mende nye. haku mmg xtau malu skt bab2 redeem nih (walaupun mkn FIL yg belanja kuikuikui) dua plk tiket nya, shiok kan? sgt lah sesuai dgn puan anis dan encik hariz :D

apa lagi, jom p tgk wayang! (kami dua org free la tapi ngehehehe ;))

with juz a few of us left at this office i'm still stuck at my desk, but not because keje byk. skrg nih tgh tunggu hariz amik aku. dan seperti biasa, aku jadi penunggu ofis sementara menunggu dia fetch aku.

a few days before i might say la keje byk skt dari biasa, because we're having a jam-packed schedule from this week to right after raya aji. but due to unforeseen circumstances, state meeting next week is postponed (hampes penat aku buat dah siap comel2), audit workshop on the same week pun postponed, and today my big boss decided to cancel the workshop we're organising on the first week of december. gila kan? tetiba last minute semua postpone/cancel. like, buat3 keje pastu xde hasil. mana org x kutuk kata gomen mcm xde keje, dah xnmpk hasil nye. but thats the truth. we worked our buntuits out only to be cancelled at the last minute.

so skrg, aku bersama bibir yg pedih dan kering akibat misplaced lipbalm in one of my bags terpaksa peram hasil kerja aku buat sementara waktu. dan melayan hati dengan laman-laman web yg dapat menenangkan hati pada pukul 6 ptg ni. hasilnya:

MBMJ Dr. Q wristlet.

cantik kan?

dah dah. nk balik. have a nice weekend! :D

i have to admit this. i got careless. not that i'm always careful. but this time my 'careless and free' motto has gotten the better of me. so much for maintenance free , huh. n whoever says its maintenance free anyway? meh sini aku piat telinga tuh. maintenance free, my foot!

now i have to bear the consequence. aiyyoooohhh!!

b.o.s.a.n. time ni lah meeting berderet2. last2 minute call plk tuh. ayam betul.

lupa nk cerita. dlm kemelepekan aku dok sorg2 kat umah xbuat apa hari tu, baru la tgk THE GREEN MILE. buleh x? skrg baru nk tgk. ok la jgk. tp lama nk mam... kan. dvd tu stat tulis 2 jam je aku dh tgk jam, bila nk abis.. ei, x abis lagi? dia sharp2 3jam 20 saat abis. fuhh.. lega.

ok la noh. saiko jgk crita tuh. aku xpenah baca yg stephen king tulis pasal green mile tuh.

nnti la p carik. bab2 buku mmg ai pantas sket.

daaaa!!! :D

Marilah melepek... (tune ‘marilah bergoyang’ okeh!)

Fuhh.. weekend ni la plg menarik. Xp mana2! Hehehe.. dah lama x melepek kat umah. Tu pun rasa kejap je dah ahad malam. Huhuhu...

What i did:

Saturday

Melepek sambil baca novel

Sunday

Melepek sambil tgk anime dan mkn kerepek

Hahaha.. betapa x produktif nya aku weekend ni. Slob is the new bob bebeh!

Toodles! :D

nk muntah tau. dok anticipate apa jadi dgn hannibal in that hannibal rising. ye la.. dah baca pun kejap2 dah ttido.

korg mesti pk.. cne la si anis ni blh baca 2-3 buku dlm seminggu. free sgt kah? baca time keja kah? xbuat benda lain kah? asek pgg buku saja, laki dia x bising kah?

aku ni mmg jenis yg baca buku b4 tido. hari2. x baca x buleh tido. i dunno if anybody from my school remembered but i almost always slept with a book beside my head. that habit extended until now, hehehe.. except that letak tepi katil la skrg, juz kekdg kalo aku mmg ttido and hariz dah tido jugak (sllunya dia yg alih buku letak tepi katil ;)), then adala sebijik dua buku tepi kepala aku.

then there's the trips. ni cik farina mmg sgt arif. whenever hariz keje shift ptg, i always lepak di shopping mall while waiting for his shift to finish, then buleh balik sama2. usually i spent a good three hours there. if i didnt go on a shopping spree or ditemani oleh cik farina berjalan2, i'll juz sit somewhere with a milkshake or do pedi n read. sometimes when i know i'm about to finish one book, i bring another one for backup, juz in case.

thats how my life is these days. not that i'm free all the time, but i always try to find the time to read. hope that someday my children can pick up the habit, but not one yg i read smpai mak panggil makan pun x dgr:

mak: siti, mai mkn!

anis (x dgr pape)

mak: sitiiii!!!!

anis (x dgr pape lagi)

mak (masuk bilik tgk anak dia): org panggil makan pun x dgq2, ha, lenkali xpyh makan, makan buku tu!

i miss my mom.. :D

toodles!

juz to share an interesting article:

What every father will learn sooner or later is that his daughters are female, and are thus incomprehensible.

OKAY, so I’m a guy, which means that the female mind is a strange and wondrous thing that I will never understand. Learning this lesson is part of growing up, and of growing older.

Just when you’ve accepted it, however, life throws in a spanner and you have to learn the lesson anew ... or at least, from a completely different perspective.

Like when you have children, and they turn out to be girls.

Being a father is easy enough when they’re toddlers, even when you include the “icky” bits of having to deal with diapers, colic and a complete disruption to your diurnal lifestyle. But then they start growing older, and begin to form personalities.

Feminine personalities. (Yes, the hint of an ominous undertone here is deliberate!)

Like when you’re going out, and you tell them the day before so that there won’t be any last-minute hiccups.

“Wear something nice, but nothing fancy. It’s not a formal dinner.” That’s pretty self-explanatory, right? It should take them, what, five minutes to look into their wardrobes and pick out something, shouldn’t it?

About an hour later, after much screeching at each other, looking for a favourite top or jeans that the other sister had the temerity to borrow without permission, the 12-year-old will announce, “Papa, we have to go shopping. I have nothing to wear!”

“You have nothing to wear? But you have so many clothes that you’ve taken over my cupboard too!”

“Yes,” she will look at me, not understanding how I can fail to comprehend something so simple as this, “but I have nothing suitable for tomorrow night. We can go to (insert latest trendy mall here) in the afternoon and pick up something.”

“But I have no money.”

“Papa, you must be more careful with how you spend your money. Oh, just bring your credit card along then.”

A lecture on economics, the labour system and capitalism just doesn’t help here. I’ve tried.

Then there’s their habit of making you feel bad, even when they’ve done something wrong.

Once when I was away at work, there was a blackout at home, so the candles came out. I reached home after the power came back on and the maid had gone to sleep.

The eldest was in the living room, vegetating in front of the idiot box. The 10-year-old was in the kitchen. The first thing I noticed was the horrified shock on her face. The second thing I noticed was all the wax that had dried up on the kitchen counter.

All over the kitchen counter. The little pocket-sized pyromaniac had been playing some game with candles, wax and fire!

So I ranted. She got such a scolding from me on the dangers of fire and the need for safety practices at home, and how many kids die in fires, and to never do something so stupid again ... a scolding punctuated by a twirling belt that never connected but which was used to emphasise certain salient points. Her lips quivered, she sulked, she was fearful.

An hour later, before she went to sleep, she finally apologised and promised never to play with fire again.

So I gently explained why it was important that she not do so. And that should have been that, right?

Like all the women in any man’s life, daughters too can have impeccable timing. They will suddenly feel the need to engage in a conversation – whether via SMS, voice, chat or email – at the most hectic and pressure-filled moment of your workday. Which is why the next day at work, I get an SMS: “Papa, I am still offended by what you said last night. You said I was stupid. Since I am stupid, I don’t think I will do well in my final exam.”

I could tell she was mightily peeved by the fact that she hadn’t used any SMS shortcuts or texting techniques, and was being extremely articulate in her self-righteous anger. So I call her.

“Hey, I never said you were stupid; I said that was a stupid thing to do, dear.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes it is ... only a stupid girl would do such a stupid thing.”

So I had to spend some time telling her how I had done some “majorly” stupid things in my life as well, and I don’t think I’m stupid.

Of course, I was not stupid enough to confess my 10-year-old self’s own arsonist tendencies ... I don’t want her to use genetic excuses for her next bit of mischief.

See, there’s the problem. You have hundreds of self-help books for single parents, and thousands of “men-from-Mars, women-from-Venus” books to smoothen male-female relationships, but none that tackle both – you know, single father with two hyperactive and too-damned-independent daughters. There’s a market for that, believe me.

It makes you want to tear out what little hair you have left, but then the little darlings ... er, devils, slip their tiny, delicate little hands into your big, uncouth ones as you’re walking down that damned shopping mall, and it all feels worthwhile.

> A. Asohan, New Media Editor at The Star, wonders if he will now get advice on how he should put his two terrors in their place.

sourced from The Star Online

i like to hop around in ppl's blog. thats a fact. i simply love to read about other ppl's life, but remain as a silent reader.

i kinda noticed some ppl like to convert words that end with 'ng' to 'm'. for example, 'udang' to 'udam', etc etc. which makes me think:

if i am to apply that, i'll be calling hariz 'abam', convert from the word 'abang'. which is kinda cute.

but then, then he'd be calling me:

ayang -----> AYAM

xpe lah. mission abandoned.

done!

juz finished the lovely moon, one of those that i've told you before. what i could tell u is the whole book is a two day story about what happens when one kills her own mother. simple kan cerita dia? not. like, how can it be simple when u kill ur own mother, n then go on n have sex in the car with ur bestfriend's son while ur mother is in the freezer? saiko gila ok.


turn out mmg pompuan tu saiko pun. duh. bapak mati bunuh diri sbb depressed, mak pun dah nyanyuk yg jenis ckp mengarut2 tuh. mana la anak x saiko kan... well understood. most of the pages are filled with flashbacks if not what she's doing with her mother's corpse. all in all, not bad, not bad. nnti buleh carik buku author ni yg lain.

another one that i've finished is breaking dawn. sakit kepala haku! tebal ok 750 plus pages. n i've read about 400pages in 2+hours. mana x sakit kepala. but it is that absorbing that i couldnt get away from it. its by far the most exciting book of all the twilight saga, sgt suspen. best2! bg yg nak membaca buku ni sila lah baca, i wont spoil it for u. ziplocked! hopefully when they turn this into a movie it'll turn out ok.

i googled for the cover image of breaking dawn, turned out there's so many version that the fans made for the book. very interesting. these are some of the covers that i like:

i love this the most though:

until they end up with this one (that i've bought). ada any other official version ke? i hope not, or else i'd regret buying this one. x menarik sgt..

syuuuuu... siaaappp! :)

Tag 8 people;
malas nk tag sapa nk buat, buat ah

Describe yourself in one word.
hothothot!

Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
one who loves me lorrr, if i love him only but he doesnt love me back buat apa

Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
loved no la.. tp yg crush tu byk la. tp xkan nk ckp. gilo!

How would you deal with a face to face rejection?
dust myself up and try again

God is giving you just 5 more minutes before going back to Heaven. IF you love someone special, what will you say to that person?
i'll be waiting for u

What would you say to a person who doesn't want to believe you?
fine whatever

Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
yep

What's your opinion about someone who's jealous?
as long as its healthy, fine with me.

Do you have something special with you all the time?
yeah myself

Best place to cry?
in the shower,with the water running

Who do you love the most?
my creator, my hubby, my family

Tell us of your dream last night?
cant remember most of it tp it happened in a surau

Ever hated someone so bad?
yep

The biggest and most hurtful lie you've heard?
tanak citer

The last person you had a beer with?
never had one

The last person you went to the movies with?
hubbs. dah lama x keluar tgk wayang

The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
hubster smlm, bila nk ambik dari subang parade nih...

The last person you hugged?
hubster

The last person you yelled at?
hubby, laungan meminta tolong nk mntk tlg spraykan lipas

In the last week, have you kissed someone?
yep

Danced crazy?
not crazy lah, slow je..

Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
i sometimes got angry for no reason one..

If you could do anything, or wish anything, what would it be?
i wish all my loved ones and me are debt free and i can be a travelling-to-shop surirumah ;o

If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
bahamas

Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
yep, nk suruh adik siapkan homework

Are you old fashioned?
in some matters

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
tell u love them easy what... ILEBIUUUU.. dah, setel.

What would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
beauty sleep kuikuikui

Five facts about me:-
1.chubby
2.putih
3.penakut
4.bekeng aka garang
5.suka baca buku cerita

Five things that scare me:(random)
1.budak juon bwh meja
2.binatang kecil merangkak dan terbang
3.lubuk di candi batu pahat yg xnmpak dasar dia... gelappp... takut nk terjun..
4.bunyi pelik2 di malam yang sunyi
5. kalo kehilangan org tersayang

Two songs playing in my head lately:-
shut up and drive(rihanna) hariz pnye pasal p tnya lirik as i was singing with the radio
what about now (daughtry)

Five things I treasure in my life:-(random)
1.dikelilingi org yg disayangi
2.fizikal cukup dan sempurna, masih sihat dan buleh rasa makanan yg sedap2
3.being married to my one and only love
4.keadaan kewangan yg tidak lah nazak
5.cukup makan pakai dan ada tempat berteduh :D

r u a nomad?

being a nomad isnt easy u see. there's the packing part, unpacking, cleaning, tidying. then when ur moving again, u have to face the process all over again.

its been a hectic nomading experience for me these few months. mind u i havent gone outstation due to work for some time, but all this moving is purely rumahtangga related. sana seminggu, sini seminggu, wkend ni kat situ, wkend dpn kat sana plk. dah lama aku x dok umah sendiri more than a week. rasa klakar pun ada. tp nasib baik la kitorg berdua je. mcm budak2 bercinta, asek berjln2. kalo ada baby kesian plk nk bawak dia berjln kerap sgt.

thats why i think its important for me to have things in travel size form. senang nk bawak berjln n x take a lot of space (not to mention that its cutesy size that usually attract me first!)

my guerlain sample cleanser (akak kat counter tu was so kind to give me a 30ml tube, which lasted me quite a while), baby oil, estebel day cream, shower gel and multipurpose solution

mac makeup remover, bobbi brown foundation (same shade as m compact), EL mascara and hair serum

now that i'm finally back home, kena la simpan semua blk. but i need to keep them handy, nk travel utk raya haji pulak!

later girls! :)

tagged!!

i've stumbled upon this tag oredi at this blog owned by cik julia yg sgt comel, as i am dia punya silent reader sejak beberapa bulan nih. dia dh tag pada sapa2 yg p lompat2 ke blog dia, tp sbg silent reader yg xpenah tinggal komen, saya pun buat2 ehehe lari lah dari membuat tag itu.. hehehe..

alih2 cik farah pulak taggg... hampesss.. buat jugak la.. hehehehe

Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!.
DON'T change your clothes, DON'T fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instruction with your picture.
Tag 10 people to do this

Here are the rules:

Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
Share seven facts about yourself on your blog – some random, some weird.
Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

okay, okay. hah tgk la muka bujur yg suda transform jadi bulat ni

tgk tudung pun senget2 dah x bagi betulkan sgt.. hmmmpphhh..

7 random / weird facts about me:

1. saya seorg yg penakut walaupun suka baca buku cerita hantu. sgt takut kalo kene tinggal umah mlm2 sorg2. kalo cmtu mesti tido bukak lampu.
2. saya seorg yg lembik. tak tahan panas, tp tak tahan sejuk jugak. saya suka yg sedang2 saja (sambil menyanyi lagu dangdut)
3. saya sgt suka mkn coklat. esp reese's peanut butter cups.
4. saya sgt xsuka pada binatang2 kecil yg merangkak2 dan yg berterbangan. termasuk lah pepatung yg comel tu.
5. sejak akhir2 ni saya sgt suka mkn fat free yoghurt slps lunch. walaupun sbnrnya suda kenyang.
6. saya seorg hoarder yg berjaya. apa2 pun susah mau dibuang. rasa mcm kalo buang tuh nnti kalo ada kegunaan mcm mana? kan rugi tuh. ini termasuk lah mainan2 happy meal yg dikumpul dulu.

dan last skali:

7. saya sgt sayang suami saya. (ok sila jgn muntah kat sini, pusing jauh2 sikit shuh shuuuuhh)
nk tag sapa eh...

-cik yan
-cik put
-cik yati
-cik aliah
-cik farina
-cik yah
-cik ayeen

ok siapp!!

anis plays SHOP IN YOUR STASH

i was bloghopping last week at ParisB's when she announce a game named Shop in your Stash, to find ur own stuff that u have but havent used in 5 months. she's spot on about food are sold in smaller portions and at higher cost. hence, the idea for the game. please hop over here for details.

i kinda forgotten that i promised to find something in my stash to shop since i'm moving around n not at home to find my old stuff. but then kan, i recently used back some of my accessories that i havent used in months! that can b counted ey? hehehehe


these two are my favourite swarovski crystal bracelets that i havent worn in a while. there's more in my stash, but these hold special place in my heart. the pink and purple bracelet was a present from hubster (he picked the colour and designed it himself! sweet kan.. *wink wink*) while the red one i had for my graduation two years ago.

asi've recently had a ruby red sandal, that would be a great pairing to the red bracelet dont u think? :D

oh.

obama menang. good.

we'll see how their policies change (if there's any).

personally yeah, i prefer obama rather than mccain, but all these politicians are known to juz talk the talk. lets see if he can walk it as well.

the coolest thing that happened was if ur american and u vote (yesterday la kan), u can get a star-shaped krispy kreme, a scoop of ben n jerry's and a cup of starbucks coffee for free!

cool ey?

kalo buat kat mesia gerenti aku vote hahahaha

bila la nk dtg mesia krispy kreme ooooiiiiii...

a good start

if ur not a fan of history and biographies (or not an avid reader of any sort of material for that matter), this book would be a good start for u:


its cute in not so many words, and it teaches us the life of our previous prime minister very well. try, n u might juz get hooked up with biographies after that (like me!)

toodles!

feelings all mixed up these days. on second thought, its been like that since.. hmmm.. forever i think.. but these past few days i juz felt crappier than ever. but its not like that all day all night one.. its juz that all that bodily and its systems issues juz bug me. a lot.

hariz said i worry waaayy too much.

hmmm.. need to ditch those heavy, mindworking novels and settle for feelgood chicklits. or romcom movies would be good too.

p tgk wayang ah.

updated: check online, yg berpotensi menghappykan hati ialah tropic thunder shj. hsm3 x menarik hati la..

crap.

tried to read the historian, borrowed from hoong seng. since its about salasilah si drakula, hoong seng thought its a good read for me, since i'm interested in that area. thanks ya!

but it being historical is not what made me put down the book after 100+ pages, but rather the writing that bugged me. i read one page, 143, for one night, and ended up REreading page 143 again the next night! 1 page only for two nights! xpenah jadi tuh.

i tried again friday night. the same page. i managed to add more pages to that, but thats about it. the next morning i gave up. n read khaled hosseini's one thousand splendid suns dari kulit ke kulit for three hours, until my eyes were red and my head was pounding. but i was happy. it was darn good that i couldnt put the book down, from start to finish.


its about a girl, mariam, who lived in a small hut in the outskirt of Herat, Afghanistan with her mother. she was about 9, i think, when she learned that she's a harami, an illegitimate child. her father was one of the prominent businessman in Herat, and always visited her every thursday - until she made him promise to bring her to the cinema to watch Pinocchio, together with his other legitimate children (the father has 3 wives, and including mariam, 11 children). when he didnt turn up, mariam walk for 2km to the city and went to his house. she fell asleep overnight at the outside of the gate waiting for him, while he was inside the house. when she went back home, her mother had hang herself. alone now, mariam was brought back to the city and made to marry a man named rasheed. she was fifteen. then she was brought to kabul by her husband and there, her torments began.

then there was another girl called laila. she was very beautiful, fair skinned, dark hair and turquoise eyes.since small she befriended a one legged boy named tariq. as they approach teen, their feeling began to differ. then the war came. they were to flee kabul (separately) with their families, but laila's parents were killed in a bombing. here laila and mariam's path crossed. she was rescued by rasheed and mariam. now, mariam was childless after many years and 6 miscarriages. rasheed tricked laila to marrying him, by convincing him that tariq was already dead. but laila agreed to marry him, only because she's pregnant with tariq's child.

laila and mariam couldnt get along together at first, since mariam thought laila as her husband's stealer. but later they got very close after laila tried to protect her from rasheed's belt. two children later, laila finally found out that tariq was still alive. mariam and laila tried to escape from rasheed but were found out and tortured by him. finally, mariam killed rasheed, and stayed behind to let laila and tariq flee together with the two children. mariam was then sentenced to death for killing rasheed.

this book will take u in an emotional roller coaster ride, with the war as its background. a definite must-read!!!

weekend happenings

quite a bit of things happened during the last weekend. (not so short) snippets:

friday: ended up spending the night at my sis's hostel. hariz met with an accident as he was coming to shah alam to fetch me from work. dont worry, he's fine. not a scratch on him. but his wanda (thats the name of his car, not my madu of any sort) was not so lucky. muka kemek, mata (lampu depan) buta sebelah, telinga kanan (right sideview mirror) putus. wanda dah cacat. aku dh xde contender lain (tp tunggu la wanda kuar dari hospital, rupa mcm baru hasil pembedahan plastik... hmmm.. at least aset2ku au naturel kan hahahaha)

come saturday, abah called, ckp nk turun kl. ada sorg pkcik aku (his younger brother) skt. my older cousins and my paklong dah ada di kl. so i thought, xpe la tunggu abah dtg, p visit sekali. turned out it wasn't meant to be. my uncle passed away at 4.30 that evening. abah would wait for my paklong to bring back his body to kedah. readers, pls kindly sedekahkan alFatihah buat arwah.

i was not so close to that uncle of mine. hariz xpenah jumpa dia. in fact, aku pun dah 3 tahun rasanya x jumpa dia. it was never about his disease, but rather the family dispute thats been going on for years (and doesn't look like its gonna wind down any time soon) that made the big family go astray. i'm sure every family has its own dark secret, black sheeps, and black knights, so juz let that be. a secret.

due to some circumstances, his body was sent back home on sunday. so i together with hariz and my sis went back to the hospital that morning to see him for the last time before they send him to rest beside my grandfather's grave back in kedah. he looked calm. that, i could see from his face. so thin, underneath those layers of kain kapan. may you rest in peace, pakcik.

after org yg uruskan jenazah tu dah siap mandi & sembahyangkan arwah, we need to wait for the clearance paper so that we could bring him home. while waiting, another body came in. this time, a stilborn baby boy. baby boy, thats what i surmised when i saw the person incharge there cut out three small layers of the white cloth. i recited alFatihah for him too.

was reminded of what i had to go through when i lost my little one (thank Allah, i only miscarried once - at the same hospital), even when it was not even in a human form u'll feel the terrible lost. what more when u carry ur little one for the full 9months and lost him/her while delivering. but there's the hikmah behind the incident. he will pray for u, and wait for u in heaven.

went to putrajaya to play with our nephews. fawwaz is getting chubbier by the week. tembaaaammm! naufal is getting cheekier, and is now officially an anak koala bear, he hugs ppl like that kalo org dukung dia. asal ada org dtg rumah dan layan diorg, tido lambat la budak2 tu.

made me think to always appreciate what we have, while mourning what we have lost. if its meant to be, juz let it be.

You Are a Vampire

You are charming, sensual, and even a bit manipulative. You can't help but get people to do what you want. You have sharp senses and a strong predatory instinct. You go after what you want, without mercy. While you have the heart of a killer, many people are drawn to you. You are elegant, timeless, and mysterious. You are the ultimate fantasy object.

Are You a Vampire or a Werewolf?

hahaha... explains my affinity towards those creatures ;)